Toilet Readiness and Toilet Awareness - how do I know it's time?

No parent enjoys changing nappies – I know it's not something I do for fun! But the prospect of teaching a toddler to use the toilet can be daunting: accidents on the floor, and convincing a little person to do as you ask when they're more interested in expressing their own independence.

While toilet use can begin any time after birth (yes, really! check out Tribal Baby for more info), most parents use nappies until their toddler shows signs that they are ready to toilet train. If a toddler is ready for the toilet and interested in using it, toilet training can be easy and take as little as a few months. The trick is knowing when they're ready, and getting prepared.

Ready or not?

Most toddlers are ready sometime between their first and third birthdays. Readiness is affected by their health and natural biology – factors outside the control of parent or child. Signs that your toddler may be ready for the toilet include:

• Interest in doing things independently.

• Willingness to cooperate when parents suggest or ask them to do something.

• Ability to pull their pants down and get onto a potty or toilet (perhaps with a toddler toilet seat on it) on their own.

• Ability to sit still for a while – for example, to listen to a story, or have a conversation.

• Communicating needs with words or signs – for example, “I want a drink” or “my nappy needs changing”.

• They show signals that they are wetting or soiling their nappy – a particular face, suddenly going quiet and squatting in a corner, perhaps even using words like “poo” or pointing to their wet nappy.

• There is a regular pattern to toileting. This means the toddler has particular times of day when they are more likely to need a nappy change, and has breaks of up to a couple of hours between wetting or soiling a nappy.

If your toddler is showing all of these signs of readiness, they probably already have a good level of toilet awareness, and the skills they will need to use the toilet independently. Toilet awareness means that they know when they are about to wet or soil their nappy, and they know what the toilet is for.

Encouraging Awareness

If your toddler is showing only some of these signs of readiness, you can help them along by working on toilet awareness before progressing to toilet training. Things that can help include:

• Include toilet terms in normal communication, so that it is easier for your child to use language you understand when they want to tell you they have wet or soiled their nappy. For toddlers who go to childcare or regular babysitting, use terms that other adults will recognise - “wee” might be a better choice than “tinkle”.

• Use cloth nappies without a stay-dry liner (put the absorbent layer on top of built-in stay-dry liners, if possible). Feeling wet immediately after doing a wee will help them learn what their body is doing.

• Encourage your child to dress themselves so they learn how to pull up their pants, and find ways of communicating that work when you want your child to do something like wash their hands or put down toys.

• Practice sitting still for short periods. Read stories together, have conversations, sing songs. Check your local library for children's books about toilets and potties, or make up a funny toilet song together. The most important thing is that your child is able to sit still and relax as they will need to do when they start sitting on the toilet or potty.

• Let your toddler come into the bathroom and see you using the toilet. They might ask questions about how it works, or show interest in doing what the grown-ups do.

Once you're both ready, toilet training should be an easier, quicker process.